Since I will be voting next week primaries, I’ve decided to dedicated this recipe to future president: Donald Trump.
Donald Trump’s Make American Great Again Burger
Servings: 1 good, true, God-fearing, born in the USA American
Prep Time: 5-30 min depending on if you went to the grocery store or McDonald’s for ingredients / Total time: See prep time
- Burger buns – white bread only; you can pretend to consider other types of bread but end up choosing the white kind only
- Nice, beautiful piece of ass burger patty
- Tomato – grown in the US and not harvested by illegal, rapist immigrants
- Lettuce – grown in the US and not harvested by illegal, rapist immigrants
- American Cheese
- Freedom fries
- Sriracha – but not the one from China, so I guess you’re stuck with just ketchup
- Trump Vodka
- The smallest choud of a pickle
1. Wash your tomato and lettuce, visualizing yourself waterboarding some terrorists.
2. Slice the tomato and watch it bleed like Megan Kelly’s vagina.
3. Take a pan and spray with pam.
4. Crack the egg in the pan and watch it sizzle and crack like Hillary Clinton’s ugly, old, useless ovaries. Set aside.
5. Cook your burger patty.
6. Take your halloumi, but throw it in the trash because that ain’t going anywhere near the burger. Replace it with a good ol’ slice of rubbery American cheese, and place on top of the burger patty. Set aside on a plate.
7. Make a wall of freedom fries and throw all your ingredients in the middle.
8. Place your burger buns and cheese outside the wall.
9. Garnish with the smallest pickle you can find and serve with Trump Vodka. Optional plating: cover your dish with an American flag napkin
10. Elect Donald Trump for president.